Wisdom 2.0-Being present, being mindful has benefits

I attended the Wisdom 2.0 conference this weekend expecting it to be great. My expectations were not only met, but exceeded and that is because of the real time shifts I witnessed at the conference. I saw people trying to mindfully engage with others,  make new openings for conversations they might not had ever had before. I thought that even if nothing was said the whole time, the *body* of the conference (all the people in it) was in fact a shift itself. A movement has occured just because of the act of being there, and in turn, am very proud to have been a part of it.

Yes, we were amongst very well regarded and well known CEO’s, but what struck me most was the impetus, the desire of all included in the conference to stand up and say what they believed in. What I was most impressed by, however, is all of the people who stepped forward into this radical mix and took their own stage to set themselves. In every day situations, there is generally a top down mentality where people are set at the beginning of the day with a status in mind. They are managers, have bosses, work for themselves. No matter, at this conference, I didn’t feel that static nature of the heirarchial positioning. Instead, I felt the same with, in line with and connected to others that were and are pursuing a line of work that is much more than just a job, it is their human mission.

The human quality was presented in terms of a mindful approach to using technology, but more so, I was struck by the opportunity to even *have* the dialog happen to begin with. This is essentially how world peace happens. Each person gets off their high horse, buckles down to their real human nature and decides what is *best* for all of us, not just for our little egos.

I’m not saying people there weren’t filled with some piece of ego as that is something that takes longer than a day to recover from, but moreover to see that by focusing on the collective consciousness of the group that was present, brought me to a state of internal bliss that I was not expecting but of course grateful for. My impression was a) that this conference was a much needed exploration of what a lot of us have been searching for: a bridge between technology, all that it has to offer and *at the same time* (this is the tricky part) managing, maintaining and integrating it all while remaining human beings.

I will write more on this for sure, but i at least wanted to say how grateful i am to have been an equal part of this Wisdom. Thank you Soren and all that attended.

Play-doh Therapy: If you can’t scream it, squeeze it

Often times while I’m training executives (the most stressed are the most fun for me), I bring out something they wouldn’t expect. Play-doh. Yes indeed a childhood toy I’m pretty sure we all used at one time or another. What do you think CEO’s of companies say when I ask them to pick their favorite color, reach into the bucket and pull it out? The first thing I see is usually a twinkling in their eye, and maybe a comment like, “really?-You want me to *play* with this?”

I smile and put them at ease. Yes! So, they do. It immediately gets them out of their cognitive mind and they automatically enter the *body zone* (which I will be talking about in further blogs). This means that they stop their thinking (literally) and move into a state of *feeling*. Then, I bring them into their senses more with a request to smell the Play-doh and tell me they’re experience.

After going through feelings, smelling, and touching, they are usually in the body-zone mode well enough we can start working with their emotions.

Using Play-doh at work may seem like a childish act, but instead it acts like a stress reducer and a cognitive shifter so that emotions can be felt and then dealt with instead of keeping them locked inside.

Not only does it cheer people up, it can bring them back to the days of care-free childhood play time. (Of course, this is not the only case so I put a disclaimer here for those who just *hate* play-doh). In anycase, my point is that playing with Play-doh as a stress reliever has some real benefits.

I buy the tiny sized ones you can find at Walgreens or some store like Cliff’s Variety in San Francisco. These are small enough that you can fit it into the palm of your hand and squeeze to the cow’s come home. When you do, make sure you make a funny face and give expression to it. I’ll demonstrate with video.

Crumple your paper!

Everyone wants to be stress free, or at least *less* stressed. That is a fact. I don’t know anyone who likes being stressed except for some that use stress as a motivating factor in their success. Going with the assumption then that most people want to be free of stress and work and live in a happier environment, I will give you some easy and simple solutions you can do for yourself today.

To increase and boost moral:

1) Write yourself (I’m serious here) a note telling yourself everything (one thing is also okay) you feel you do at work that feels to you that is a) meaningful and b) productive. This can be anything from getting coffee for someone (the little things *do* count) to providing your daily tasks that you were hired to do. The problem is that most employers will just *expect* this from you (it is after all *why* you got hired in the first place), which is why I want you to express your appreciation for your skill set to *yourself* first. Keep a diary of all of the things you *do* to express yourself ways you are helpful.

2) Take a personal inventory (do this home preferably) of all of the things you *like* about your job. List what you appreciate and what you feel good about. Of course, when we list our *likes*, we are bound by nature to also want to list your dislikes . That is okay. This is not a lesson in writing down the *bad* things that happen in your life, but moreover, to help you clarify and see what *you* are contributing to the process that might make it easier to change in the short and long term. In psychological terms this is called, “reframing”. We take what we do, define it and then set it down like a crumpled piece of paper on your desk. At first, you see it as just crumpled and you know how it got that way. That is perspective #1. Crumpled. Perspective number two and three, etc are all about viewing that crumpled little piece of paper from a completely mindful perspective that is not filled with unattainable objectives, but more it is about *how* you view it.

For example, I could look at this like crumpled, or I could see it as a piece of paper that needs some attention. Some flattening out so to speak. I might look at this piece of paper and want to see what it looks like while I open it up. I might see that each little crease is a metaphor for each of my emotions I experience during a day. I might then see this “paper example” as something different that just crushing up a piece of paper. I might now see it as a full spectrum of lines, creases and wrinkles that maybe perhaps I even want to draw on with different colored markers. If I do this, for example, I might find I’ve made a really cool looking art form out of the simple activity of crumpling up paper.

So, more simply put, it’s what we *do* with our emotions that count. One person at work might just chuck the paper against the wall and go home miserable. The other might find her/himself elated at how she/he turned something miserable into something beautiful. Just a thought.

3) Send me at (askalisonleigh@gmail.com) some things you would like to see changed at your workplace. I mean this in terms of how you *feel* about them, not necessarily like, “I hope to get a new colleague to work with soon”. An example would be: “I feel guilty about the fact I haven’t done my best work” or “i feel bored at work and guilty that I get paid to surf the net” (you wouldn’t believe how much of this I hear on a daily basis). These feelings are for *you* to begin to feel okay with just plain *feeling*. *What* you are feeling is always OKAY. It’s what you *do* with the feelings that may get in your way or if you are accepting and non-judging, you might actually *feel* better about *feeling* your emotions. No matter what, just feel, accept and write it down for now.

Tension Tamers

Often times in the workplace you’ll find yourself stressed to the point where all you can feel is anger and bitterness. You might not even know why or who set that off but you know you feel it and you also know that there is *nothing* you can do in the moment to relieve that. Why? Because you are in the *workplace* and that just isn’t *cool*. Much to the contrary, I happen to whole-heartedly disagree. The workplace actually offers many ways to de-stress, you just have to know *how*.

In my mindfulness and stress reduction series for employees at work I concentrate on the client who feels emotions at work but doesn’t necessarily know what to do about them. It’s almost as if many of the people I work with *are* really emotional, but don’t *feel* it is appropriate to release that. Often times more than not, you have your weekend warrior who saves up all of the stress just to get super physical on the weekend. Although exercising is great, saving up your emotions to take out on the weekend results in stiff neck tension and other body related ills.

The best method to *feel* your emotions at work is

#1) To become *aware* of them and simultaneously *not* judge them.

#2) Understand that you are *normal* for feeling the way you do.

#3) Make a plan either (with Sit.Breathe.Calm) or a friend to release those emotions

(without getting fired)